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Once I met these beautiful monsters. It was a moonless night as I walked along the quiet shores. The darkness was gentle and I welcomed it. The stars dazzled the night sky giving my eyes a light glow to see the outline of something ahead of me. It was as tall as a light house. And near by the sharp rocks of the dangerous beach. It turned toward me with a glowing face and the body of a woman. The glow was bright and could reach out to miles of the sea. I nodded to the giant woman and her face dimmed so I could make out her features. She looked sad and worn yet she smiled. I felt a light come from the ocean and turned to see a ship. The tall woman’s face glowed again and the ship came forward. Unsuspectingly, the ship came closer and closer to the rocks. Frozen to my spot I watch as the sharp rocks cut through the ships hull with ease. The woman walked over the ship and covered it with her body. Giant shadows came out of her and danced about the shipwreck. When she stood up all the sailors were gone and she just walked away. My heart beat faster and as I turned to run the woman called out to me. I never turned around to see what she wanted to say

Perfect is Impossible :D

he saw growing disorder and chaos in the system.

all systems have their own disorder.

it wouldn't be a system if everything was perfect

perfect is just a word but was it ever our truth

they followed the system but who has broken glass in their eyes

It all came down to that one dangerously dark night

followers of every rule were killed by the rules binding them

yet i find myself obsessed with perfection

I blame it on my desires that I secretly try to hide

For systems are broke by greed and love.  

Silence of Laughter

It was a song I had never heard.   But it had always been playing in the background.   Once it  stopped something stopped being so enjoyable.   Once it was gone I feel like I needed to know it's everything.   How could anyone be so careless to never be so curious.   I hear it faintly sometimes but it doesn't seem as loud.   When I heard it I was lost but now that I'm not does it make any sense that its not playing.   It's probably that you come from a time of deep sadness and even the littlest rays of happiness could make a person feel as if they were in another life.  A life where problems were the dreams.   Maybe someday I'll hear you again.  And maybe this time you'll last forever. 

FYI

White font = I'm not serious
Blue font = I'm Serious

`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'``'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'''''''''''''''''''''````````````'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`''`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'``''`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`''`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''``'`'`''`'``'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''``''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'``'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''``'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'``'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'``''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'``''`'``''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`''`'`'`'``'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`''`'`'`''``''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`''`'`'`'`'''`'`'`''`'``'`'`'`''`'``''``''`'`'`'`''`'`''`'`'

Poem

Deep inside me, I have a feeling I would be a good poet. I never gave it a chance and I wondered, "why not now?" This poem took me a while to write and I know it isn't perfect. It is only my first and I think I really like writing poems. The words just suddenly come to me; it's similar to having an epiphany. This poem is about a specific person who is a part of my life. I hope you like it and embrace the message in the poem. It really touched me and I couldn't believe that I had written it after I read it over. Here it goes:

Sarah the Naira loved to wear Mascara
But Mascara was from a Christian era.

Sarah found a fish
And made a beautiful wish

With the wish from Sarah
the fish brought an end to the Christian era

What happened next you say
The fish was gay
Sarah and the mascara hit the hay

And Sarah used some coins
this fish ate some pig loins
now a David joins

How did all this end
with sarah and the fish's trend

It's a mascara necklace
David found this reckless

With the christian era destroyed
many chickens found themselves unemployed
So they turned to the steroid
found in an empty void

Sarah the Naira had issues
The steroid chickens were in desperate need of tissues

hamsters were involved
now all of Sarah in Mascara's problems were solved! :D


~No Regrets!~

Why me?

Well it's fun getting threats in my voice mail.   I guess I should be scared or happy.  idk.  But right now I could care less.  I don't hate this kid or have I ever liked them; whatever anybody says this is the truth.   It's getting old how every time I say one thing to/about this person they act like it's the end of the world and I end up apologizing like crazy.  But I'm done.  I'm done talking, apologizing, or even acknowledging.  When I am tired I will kill any one who messes with me, but right now I know what I will do.   I will live my life as if this person never existed.  If I am pushed I will keep walking.  If I am yelled at I won't say a word.  If I end up dead or hurt then I guess I'll have to get someone to help me.   But what is life without it's challenges? without it's enemies?   I never wanted an enemy but I guess fate had a different plan.  It may be hard to overcome the obstacles in my life but I will go down with a fight.  A fight to be left alone for my four years of high school.  Life goes on.  Or at least it does to everyone else in the world.  I Am Not Sorry For Rejecting You. If this person ever finds this you cannot say anything or get mad.  This is just some stupid blog that no one cares about so it's not really that bad.   I wish you would leave me alone forever.

I'm a f*cking dumb person with stupid thoughts and I should enjoy being a teenager ;)

It seems the older I get the worse everything around me gets.  America.  I thought I should be proud of that word.  But what does it even mean anymore these days. A place of fat, lazy, stupid people.  A place where people are killing themselves by food, tanning, and of course drugs.  I'm not saying the rest of the world doesn't have their own experiences with these problems but everyone seems to just take it out on the USA.  And I'm tried of it.  I'm trying to change but it's hard living in a whole world where everything is trying to make exactly like the next person.   People always say my generation isn't going to live past it's parent's generation and that is supposed to help anyone by telling little kids that.  People with money are just lying to this country and most are helpless to resist yet that in itself is not impossible.  Just super hard. Yet there are the few that try to make America a proud word once again.  Just not enough of those kind of people. I'm full from being fed the lies that every person in this country sees on TV. But money is a power that controls many of us and I'm afraid things are only going to get worse before they get better.   I just really want any one who calls out America's faults to just leave us the f*ck alone because yeah we are all the things you say we are.  We already know what we are.  But some of us are trying to change and it's not our fault we live here.  Too young or too poor to leave a place that is falling apart.  Can one person ever solve the world's problems?  I simply answer you no.  So does that mean we all have to die?

Time

I remember in the beginning it seemed like these days would never come.  I would never be 16 or at least I had a long time until that day.  We were all just kids living our lives with fun the only thing on our minds.  Everyone was friends and life was at peace.  But as we all know things change and they always will.  Never being a normal person with no close friends I was clueless during most of intermediate school.  It was a changing period of life and eventually I had figured out what was holding me back from being happy and I did everything I could to come out of my shell.  Maybe I hurt some people but I think everyone needed a little bit of a life lesson back then. Besides I was done letting people using me just because I was the nice fat girl.  7th grade I had so much to learn. Yet I made a lot of mistakes it lead me to strong friendships and enemies (no girl enemies thank god).  The only thing that matters is that I had fun learning from myself and being an idiot. 8th grade was a blur and I don't even understand half of the things we did but I never wanted it to end.  No matter how bad the drama was at least we were in the nice house of phoenix.  No one was mean or a b*tch. :)   Now I am going to miss those days because I don't know what or who to except next year.   I can't waste these next 4 years because these are the moments every little kid dreams of.  To be an adult or something close to it. No matter who tries to stop me from enjoying my life I will never give up.  I've wasted so much of my life that I never want to waste anymore.  Soon I will be done with the next four years and have another 4 years to go but that's a lifetime away.  Isn't it?

Saturday

I walked the dog today.  Actually I was forced.   My goal was to walk along the old trolley path until I got to L.I.S. or some other fancy place.   The vans I bought back in May were still giving me blisters so I decided this would be another prefect chance to break them in.... consequently they would make this adventure take a turn for the worst later on.   As I walked down the street towards the day seemed not super hot and Silas seemed calm.  We walked past the ginger's house and I saw him on roller blades.  How typical.  Sneaking past his two mini white monsters I thought we were in the clear and would make it to the path without the monsters noticing.   I was deceived when they ran from their hiding spot and started their siren songs making Silas pull on the leash.  Pulling Silas to the safety of the path we almost ran into a tall young man.  He had brown hair and eyes, wore a white shirt with some kind of logo on it and army green cargo shorts.  His shoes were an ugly color and didn't go with his outfit.  Clueless.  With his headphones in I assumed he was listening to either dubstep or rap.  I didn't want to be a stalker so I let Silas sniff around.  The boy was actually on the chubby side I thought as he walk on.   When I got to the road I looked left, right and then left again.  A week of safety town is turning me into something bad.  Silas wouldn't stop smelling stuff so we missed many safe opportunities to cross.  Finally across we keep walking but the young man is gone.  Whatever.  Moving down the path I see a random building with a fence around it.  What the f*ck is that doing here.  Next to the building is a path into some random neighborhood.  I follow it to find myself near a friends house and I decided to run away from there because my dog would hurt their kitties.  There is another neighborhood along the side path but I was too lazy explore.    Behind the fenced in building there was a place that I was sure drugs and alcohol had been since the lighters and broken glass.   As I continued to walk I saw many tempting swing sets that I wanted to go on just to scare some people. When I reached the end of the path I was quite disappointed that it ended with a highway.   Not knowing what to do I walked back to go explore the other neighborhood on the side path.  Walking in the shade for awhile I saw an old man watering plants.  I wish it was a sprinkler so I could run in it.  When I passed by he yelled out to me, "Hey how are you!?!"  I replied good as a white van came into my vision just ahead in the street.  Even though it wasn't his I still started freaking out when he said, "It's quite a hot day." And then started shaking his hose in up and down movements.  Scary.  Turning around I headed in the other direction.   We crossed the street and made it down the street until I couldn't take the shoes anymore and started walking around in my socks.  Silas decided to chase a ghost and drag me into some grass and dirt.  Not graceful.  Stupid ginger was there to see everything go down.  Not a good thing.  This ghost haunted Silas until we got home and that's the last thing I remember before I passed out........

Beginning

Dear Icecream, Darth Vader, Jar of Peanut Butter, Silly Penguin, and any other idiots who found my blog,
          I am making this because it's gonna be a boring summer if i don't.  The things I write on here are either me being a ducking dumb ass or I'm be serious.  Yes, I of all people can be serious about something.  When I'm alone I'm actually a serious mature person.  When I'm around other people I turn into this crazy happy person because it's more fun.   The ashes of last summer are somewhere in the woods of village park and now I truly have no regrets of what I put on here because what's the point.  No one really cares what I think and feel. <3
Forever,
Emily